How people-pleasing behaviour can be injurious to one’s mental health

Everywhere around the world, there is a good percentage of people who indulge themselves in people-pleasing behavior.

While this may look good on the outside, it severely affects the person mentally and can push them into depression.

Generally, this type of behavior is displayed by children and adults who have faced a traumatic household and been berated by their parents.

Additionally, they also fear a sense of abandonment and that’s why they need constant reassurance from others around them.

Meanwhile, in doing so, they lose out on their original personality and get different labels throughout their lives.

Writes therapist Klara Kernig on people-pleasing,

Many of us feel the need to please others. Pleasing others gives us a sense of approval and a sense of belonging, and who doesn’t want to feel that way? However, we often don’t see the costs of people-pleasing, which are much higher than you might think. People-pleasing may seem like innocent behaviour, but over time, it becomes self-destructive, leaving us feeling drained, anxious, and disconnected from our true selves.

So, what are some of the behaviors that people display during the people-pleasing phase? Let’s find out.

Behaviors displayed by people when under the influence of people-pleasing

Some of the most obvious signs of people-pleasing are-

A Feeling of Motivation

When people indulge themselves in people-pleasing, they get extra acceptance and validation from others in their social circle.

Thus, this gives them a sense of motivation to keep continuing this behavior and they put others first before themselves.

No Set Boundaries

Oftentimes, in the process of pleasing people, individuals forget to set important boundaries that must come with this behavior.

However, they also strongly fear unacceptance from others around them if they put up even the slightest of boundaries in their lives.

Emotions are Suppressed

Furthermore, people-pleasers also stop giving priority to their emotions as they are focused more on how others are feeling.

Afterward, when they are down in the dumps themselves, they have a hard time bringing their emotions to the fore.

Exacerbated Feelings of Anxiety and Stress

Moreover, people-pleasers also face a high amount of anxiety and stress as they constantly want the love and admiration of others.

When not getting the above in enough quantity, they start getting anxious and freak out as well.

Feeling of Being Lost in the World

While continuing to please others, people-pleasers often get feelings of being lost in the world when they don’t get validation and acceptance.

Additionally, they also develop feelings of uncertainty and trust issues when people start ignoring them.

Therefore, individuals with people-pleasing behaviors must try to keep them to a minimum and continue to be their original selves.

Because people-pleasing might look good in the short run, in the long run, it can severely impact an individual’s mental health.

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