How taking control of people and situations can harm us in the future

Sometimes, we feel that the world around us needs to be under control by us. When this doesn’t happen, we may feel left out, alone, or depressed as well. Therefore, the need to control people and situations arises in our minds.

While people may think that controlling behavior is a personality trait of an individual, it is not so. It arises because we have feelings of uncertainty regarding people and situations and feel that these will lead to our downfall if not kept under tight scrutiny.

This fear of uncertainty is what leads us to become controlling individuals who will use people and situations as and when they please or require. However, this can lead to us being ousted from life in general.

Says therapist Allyson Kellum-Aguirre on controlling behavior,

If you have a need for control, you may be trying to create a sense of security and predictability. Having some control can be a positive thing, but a persistent need to control every situation can take a toll on your relationships and your mental health.

Signs that we may be displaying controlling behavior over others

Let’s take a look at some of the controlling behaviors that we may be displaying at home or in the workplace.

Not having enough trust in people

Many times when we have our trust broken by numerous people, we have a hard time trusting new people and feel that they will use us once again and break our trust. That’s why we find ways to control new people with whom we are about to form relationships.

Trying to find stability in life

Furthermore, while trying to eke out a stable lifestyle, we try to force our dominating and controlling behavior over others so that the goal is achieved. However, this is a toxic lifestyle and trait.

Fear of abandonment

Almost all of us have a fear of being abandoned by others in life and that’s why want them to be under our control. When we have full control over the people we love, we try to make them understand exactly how we are feeling and what we want.

Wanting to have certainty in life

In life, all of us want a sense of security and certainty so that we can be better able to function in society. But, having a loss of this certainty can lead us to control others for a long time.

Having an excessive baggage of traumatic experiences

Oftentimes, we struggle to let go of our past traumatic experiences and this can have severe effects on our mental health. So, we try to control our present life so that we don’t end up getting hurt once again.

Thus, these are some of the signs that a controlling individual displays at one point in time or another. This behavior should be avoided at all costs and not be thought of as well.

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