All of us have been taught some form of coping mechanisms by our parents during our childhood that were effective back then. But, now as adults, we have to unlearn or let go of these coping mechanisms because they can be toxic to our mental health.
Moreover, these unhealthy coping mechanisms will lead us to nowhere and we will be stuck in the small shell that we are used to living in since our childhood. It’s now time to break out of our shells and embrace our true selves.
Says therapist Sadaf Siddiqi on unlearning unhealthy coping mechanisms,
You’re not responsible for the unhealthy coping mechanisms you were taught as a child, but as an adult, you are accountable for un-learning the beliefs that are holding you back from growing into a secure person and partner.
Things that we need to unlearn ASAP in our adult lives
Here are some things that we need to immediately unlearn in our adult lives and say goodbye to.
No more passive-aggression
Firstly, we must understand that using passive aggression towards others will not lead us anywhere and we have to unlearn this habit. To ensure minimum to no confusion and be clear on issues, we must show effective communication skills and talk about everything very calmly.
Treat people the way they are
Furthermore, we must now start accepting the fact that people will remain the way they are. We must not try to change others’ behaviors and think that they should act the way we want them to. This is a highly toxic trait.
Relationships require efforts
To keep our relationships healthy and blooming, we must understand that putting effort and work into all our relationships and not think that being in a relationship is easy. So, cultivate healthy relationships with your family and friends.
Unlearn people-pleasing behavior
Many of us still have the habit of using people-pleasing behaviors to impress others and gain their trust and friendship in the long run. However, this is not the way to gain new friends and keep proper relationships with others. Usually, people-pleasing behaviors end up being one-sided friendships or relationships.
Making conflicts healthy
It is not necessary to make conflicts with others unhealthy. We must learn that conflicts can be dealt with in a healthy way as well. However, we must safely deal with them. Do not think that conflicts always lead to separation from others. This is another toxic thought that every one of us deals with daily.
Thus, this is how we can unlearn these things in our adult lives and be secure about our future with our family, friends, and partners as well. So, start unlearning your childhood habits and grow socially better.
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