People-pleasing is probably the most favorite behavior of humans that they use to gain friends and meaningful relationships. However, it must be understood that this is a toxic and harmful trait that can lead us to pitfalls and put us in great danger.
People-pleasing is such a sort of behavior that makes us put others first while keeping ourselves in the background. Unfortunately, we give others too much priority which ultimately gives us heartache.
Says therapist Klara Kernig on the harmful effects of people-pleasing behavior,
Moving beyond these thoughts is about creating new narrative for ourselves, one where our self-worth isn’t tied to how much we can please others.
Thoughts that lead us to use people-pleasing behaviors more often
Let’s take a look at how we are using people-pleasing in everyday life.
Fear of abandonment
Firstly, we feel that if we do not make others happy with our behavior, we may end up disappointing them and ourselves. Being in the fear of abandonment can lead us to use people-pleasing more often.
Others count on us
Moreover, we feel that other people look up to us and count on us more when we give them what they want. So, if we start giving priority to us, we feel that they will become upset with us and give up on the friendship.
Want to feel liked
Every one of us wants to be liked by everyone in the society. So, the path of people-pleasing is the easiest one for all of us.
Accepting the wrong things
Oftentimes, we end up accepting wrong ideas just so that we aren’t abandoned by others. Therefore, to keep others happy, we join in the wrong plans and endanger our lives and our mental health.
Fear of conflicts and disagreements
Some of us may come from dysfunctional families, so there is always the fear of getting involved in conflicts and disagreements with others. Therefore, pleasing others is the way forward to avoid conflicts.
Thus, this is how people-pleasing behaviors wreak havoc in our lives and we end up harming ourselves and others around us. Remember, people-pleasing behavior only leads to one-sided friendships or relationships.
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