Sometimes, when things are not going well in our relationship with our partners, we tend to use the path of shaming them in every possible way to exact our revenge on them. However, we do not understand that shaming them privately or publicly can have negative connotations for him/her.
Moreover, if we constantly shame our partners over small things about which they may be excited and we may not, then it also hampers the relationship and gives our partner feelings of lower self-esteem, and loss of trust, and they may also encounter problems at work, friendships, and personal development.
Therefore, using any form of shaming on our partners may harm both of us and make it a recipe for breakup in the long run. It is important to give equal love and respect to our partner even when we are not completely on board with them or their ideas. This helps develop love and trust between partners.
Writes Therapist Sadaf Siddiqi on partner shaming,
The constant use of shaming behaviors in a relationship can have a strong spillover effect, too. It may lower the person’s self-esteem and trust and affect other areas like work, friendship, and personal development.
Signs to look out for in partner shaming
Using your emotions and calling it a weakness
Sometimes, if we display an array of emotions during a conversation or in any other thing, it gives our partner a chance to mock us and shame us all the time. If you see that your partner is using your emotions to shame you and call it a weakness, it is time to stand up for yourself and defend yourself.
Overriding our partner’s excitement and thoughts
When you see your partner talking excitedly about something and you are not accepting of the idea, then also you start shaming them for getting excited over a small thing. While that idea or thing may not be important to you, it is important for them because they have feelings attached to it.
Usage of rough language and tone
During a fierce argument with our partners, we often tend to use a harsh tone and dismissive body language which can have severe implications for the relationship. Using rough language with our partners is a dangerous relationship trait. Instead of arguing in a nonsensical manner, partners must eke out a middle path of any problem and they will find peace between themselves.
Do not talk about your partner’s past with them
Another form of shaming that is very commonly seen in relationships is bringing out our partner’s past activities or deeds that were quite embarrassing for them and which they now wish to forget forever. However, when we are angry with our partner over something, we generally tend to steer towards their past and then the whole tirade goes on. Your partner may feel depressed when their past is brought out once again in the open.
Talking about your partner’s insecurities
Oftentimes, we tend to bring out our partner’s insecurities right in front of the entire public which is not only a form of shaming but personal humiliation for your partner. Constantly telling your friends and family about small insecurities of your partner may not bode well for both of you because it will lead to massive arguments because your partner did not sign up to be shamed publicly.
Thus, these are some of the ways in which your partner may shame you and place you in an embarrassing situation. Therefore, it is important to talk everything out in a peaceful manner and let your loved one know that it is not good to shame them over small things.
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