As humans, we all love to help each other out in times of need and when others require our assistance. However, sometimes, this helping nature can severely affect our mental health as well. Not only that, once we help out others multiple times, we become people-pleasers. Then, this people-pleasing behavior doesn’t let go of us easily and we are trapped in it forever.
However, we must make constant efforts to overcome our people-pleasing natures because it is essential that we help people only up to a set limit and not more than that. When we have set boundaries for helping people, we remain mentally fit and healthy.
Moreover, saying yes to every little task that others can do on their own can give us massive burnout as well. We become mentally fatigued and wish that the ground would open up and swallow us whole because we start resenting the very people that we loved to help out in the past.
While it is difficult for a people-pleaser to say no to others whom they love and respect, it is essential to set limits to this behavior. Writes Therapist Klara Kernig on people-pleasing,
Forgive yourself for not recognising the toll people-pleasing has taken on your mental and emotional health.
What people-pleasing does to our mental health in the long run
Let’s now take a look at some of the ways we can stop getting burnt out from our people-pleasing behavior.
Feelings of frustration and drain
When we are overly involved in helping others with small day-to-day tasks, which they can do by themselves quite easily, we can get frustrated and drained in the process. Doing this behavior repeatedly can cause burnout as well.
Resentment crops up in our lives
Helping the same people with their small everyday needs can make us grow resentful of them in the long run and we will feel stressed and pressured to do their everyday tasks as well. This also affects our mental health in a bad way. We will also feel that the people we are helping are perfectly capable of doing simple tasks on their own.
Loss of personal space and benefits
As we navigate our way to completing the requests of others, we don’t put out much time for ourselves. Self-care is also important, especially in today’s day and age. We often miss out on benefitting our lives.
Boundary setting becomes difficult for us
Constantly pleasing people and saying yes to their every demand doesn’t allow us to set boundaries for ourselves. We may feel that it will be rude and difficult for others if we do so.
We lose sight of what’s healthy for us
We sometimes say yes too much to others and then we start missing out on opportunities that can keep us healthy. We are surrounded by many requests either from family or friends and we keep doing their tasks rather than focusing on ourselves and keeping ourselves healthy. This drains our mental health very badly.
Thus, these are some of the effects of saying yes too much. It’s about time for people-pleasers to set boundaries for themselves so that no one crosses them and misuses them.
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