What does toxic shame feel like and why do we feel its effects

Feeling shame over any small thing can be poisonous to our emotional and mental health at all times. We all feel that we’re the ones to blame and have sinned in some form or another.

But, it’s important to understand that shame is a natural feeling that occurs to all of us from time to time and we mustn’t feel bad about it.

Says therapist Maythal Eshaghian on toxic shame,

Toxic shame is characterized by a pervasive sense of unworthiness and self-rejection, often stemming from early experiences of trauma or invalidation. Individuals affected by toxic shame may exhibit behaviours such as excessive self-criticism, perfectionism, and a deep fear of rejection or abandonment. This emotional burden can manifest in various ways, including difficulty forming close relationships, chronic feelings of guilt and inadequacy, and a tendency to self-sabotage.

How we feel when we are under the burden of toxic shame

Let’s take a look at what toxic shame does to our emotional and mental health when we let it rule us.

Hyper focusing everything

Firstly, we all tend to hyperfocus on our every action. This also makes us feel that we shouldn’t open up our real selves to others.

Chasing perfectionism

One cause of becoming our perfect selves is toxic shame. But, if we continuously follow it without thinking about the consequences, then it will cause self-destruction and torment for the rest of our lives.

Others think negatively about us

Additionally, we also hold a delusion that others are always talking or thinking negatively about us. Therefore, we try to seek their validation and often overstep our boundaries in the process.

Feel like an outsider

Finally, we all feel like outsiders when under the burden of toxic shame. That’s why we bring people-pleasing behaviors to our rescue and follow certain patterns so that we start fitting into all the social groups.

Thus, these are the major signs of what it feels like to be under the burden of toxic shame. So, please let go of this toxic behavior and enjoy your life to the fullest.

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